فالگیر

۱۳۹۲ بهمن ۱۱, جمعه

soothsayer (Azad Heidari)

My dear friends, this is my first short humorous stories. Please send your comments to help me get better!
I am afraid to be eaten by dinosaurs ,do you think I am kidding? do 

you suppose I am  in delirium ?just a moment ! I tell you my story ;
once I wanted to go to a festivity in  north of Sweden ,this festivity is 

held annually in winter .
I was in a company of one of my friends ,suddenly he urged me to go a 

fortune teller ,as I did  not believe in these fiddle-faddles I mocked him off ,he 

told me : Let's go , you will believe what you hear , I said ok  just to have something  to 

laugh at him ,so I went with him . 
The fortune teller  put me a cup of black coffee ,when I mentioned sugar ,he told me 

this coffee is for fortune telling  so there must be no sugar and no milk 

within ,the ghosts like only  black coffee ."
By the way ,in short ,I swallowed the damn bitter coffee ,fortune teller 

took my cup and put it upside down on a saucer , then he took it up 

after some minutes ,suddenly he almost screamed  ,he uttered : you 

have got 3 dangers ,if you are smart enough and lucky too  for the first 

2 danger ,you will handle them somehow ,but there is no scape for the 

third one ,I see a dog , an elephant and a dinosaur ," -I burst into 

laughing and I did not allow him to finish his words ,I told my friend 

:"Let's get hell out of here and buy me a bottle of beer just to retaliate the 

bitterness of that damn black coffee " 
When we were busy with this fiddle-faddles and did not care about 

ourselves ,I kicked off on a dog which was with his master ,it bit my 

trousers  instead ,my trousers was sheared apart to  my knee ,my 

friend said : Did you see ? -Did you see? .he was right .but I said : Stop 

with foolish words ! Maybe you get  a dinosaur from ice age in  

Sweden ,but how do you get an  elephant ?
At this time a classmate on the other side of the street came to us and 

said that he had bought  2 tickets for circus to go there with his girlfriend but  they can not go ,"Nobody is better than you to go there " ,I 

surprisingly said if there was a circus there ,he said: No but a circus will

come to town next week and there would be show with tigers 

,lions,leopards and other animals .he said :there is a funny elephant 

which receives the tickets with his trunk at the entrance ,if you check 

their site ,you will surely like it .He left me amazed so the fortune 

teller's  second prediction came true .
It is about 25 days since I have not got out of my house ,I listen to news 

and browse the internet to find out if it was seen any dinosaur ,I called  

police several times to ask their protection , but they do not pay 

attention to my request ,last time I called the city police headmaster 

quarreling with him  and he replied laughing : we do not have idle  police officer , 

do you want us to give you a Colt for protecting yourself ?
I said : No , your Colt is not useful ,-he said if  Winchester is good enough 

.I replied : Winchester is too small , I need at least several tanks to 

protect me . As he was laughing so hard he asked me: Which country 

has provoked you to war  ? I said angrily : Not any country  ,I am not going to war 

any country , a dinosaur is going to eat me .  
He told me : I send you the only help I can afford as soon as possible . I 

was very disquietude ,waiting for several tanks but an ambulance for 

mentally ill persons  came to me ,the assistants said if I feel so bad they can 

hospitalize me in mentally ill ward .
Why nobody believes me ? ,by the way do you have any news about  

the dinosaur ?
AZAD:SE G+

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